this song has been stuck in my head all day, and i didnt even know the words until now

mushaboom- feist


"Helping the kids out of their coats
But wait the babies haven't been born
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups

But in the meantime I've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road
Knee deep snow
Watching the fire as we grow old

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done

How many acres how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road
Knee deep snow
Watching the fire as we grow old
Old dirt road
Rambling rose
Watching the fire as we grow well I'm sold"


right now i'm at the point where i'm so exhausted i should be in bed, but i'm forcing myself to stay awake. sometimes i just like to torture myself, i guess. i'm looking at keri smith's blog, and wondering if the anonymous teen author who goes bt "zoe trope" is going to ever write another book. 


i spent the night coloring in butterflies. i want to cut them all out when i finish and make window decorations, book shelf decorations, and a mobile. andrea shared such a cute butterfly story with me, they are the most beautiful creatures. i think that i have to do things like this over break or i will go insane. my brain will turn to mush from watching "skins" the whole time. i have a date on monday with andrea and airen, making native american headdresses. i really want to start a band but there are so many rude pricks out there who won't start one with me because i'm a girl. true story. apparently boobs= bad singer.


but i don't care, if i want to do something i'm going to do it. as obsessed as i am with being an aquarius, one bad trait that aquarius' have is saying they;re going to do something great and then not doing it because we're lazy. we are the inventors. but i'm going to prove to myself that i can stay focused and not have aquarian a.d.d. 


am i boring you? good. i can't wait for my book to arrive in the mail. i keep going to write package and then think about something dirty.  


"you walk in
it all turns to sunshine dirty sunshine
you walk in 
it all turns to sunshine dirty sunshine
i slam the door and shut my blinds
dirty sunshine
i dont wanna believe in your merry go-round
stop picking me up when i wanna be down
scratch my nails on the floor and i'm liking the sound
what is that breeze upon my face?
how dare you invade my space?!"


sorry i had a lillix moment. i'm going to keep rambling because the best time to talk to me is when i'm about to fall asleep. i just might let you in on my deepest darkest secrets. my primal instincts and fears. i just might tell you what you want to hear. or maybe exactly what you DONT want to hear. so be careful what you wish for.


so there is something i want to comment on. in my newsfeed i came across a status today by an acquaintance that says, "Bisexuals are the worst kind of sexuals." and really, am i offended? no. but here's the thing. this person is a lesbian, out and proud. how would she feel if i wrote on my status, "homosexuals are the worst kind of sexuals"? i mean, what is the point? why put people down? i know she hates being put down for her sexuality. it hurts. it would hurt anyone. so even if her status was just a joke, why make that joke? in public? i dont think there is any bad sexuality. just people who make sexuality into this huge deal. everyone should be able to love who they love.




well, those are my thoughts for the night. i'm going to lay down and day dream. hopefully the daydreams will turn into nightdreams and not nightmares. ihop tomorrow!


goodnight <3