all the pieces, the pieces, the pieces of me

krystal? carbo? athena? throwing names out there...

dear secret friend

i sit here listening to train. i [so far] made 7 playlists of artists/bands i like/want to check out because i always get music at the library and then forget to listen to it. so this way its all consolidated and i just listen to the playlists and get my daily dose of music.

i went to levittown library today and -biggest gasp of all- somebody was willing to help me. i was floored. and then the nice guy at the circulation desk was... nice. so SOME people at the library are nice. mostly, not so much.

i've been home for less than 2 hours and i've made one brother cry, made up with him, helped the other write a halloween poem using his spelling words (they are in 3rd and 4th grade, respectively) and helped my grandma make plans with my dad. not to mention did laundry. i had a long day, it was my first day back at school since last thursday (i dont have school friday, sat, sun and monday/tuesday i was sick). it was long and i didn't eat from 930 am until 530 pm. i usually don't do that... it's not good to not eat all day... so needless to say i need some rest; but homework calls.

2 3 things to say:
- i got 3 awesome-seeming books at the library:
Fragments, which is the newest marilyn monroe book... but THIS one is made up of things SHE wrote. so it's her perspective, her story. not some old guy who researched.
Richard Yates by Tao Lin. i've heard a lot about this author, he's supposedly very experimental and it seems like it might be fun to read a book of his.
and last but not least, a novella: walks with men by ann beattie

-i daydreamed all day about whether or not i should re read all of the lois duncan books i devoured in middle school and write my thoughts about them one here... maybe.

-i think its okay if somebody decided not to wear purple today. thats your business. i personally wore a purple shirt with the words "fuck you very much" written across my chest [lily allen, anyone?]
but what i DO NOT appreciate is someone tweeting how they would never ever wear purple, and that they hate f--s, etc. i know i can't change people, i know that everyone has free speech. but its very insensitive. how does this person know that he/she has no closeted followers? so inconsiderate.
this is why people are afraid to come out in the first place. some people might think i am a lesbian from how much i write about gay rights, but thats ok. even though i'm not gay, i don't consider it an insult and therefore i wouldn't be upset that someone may think that about me.

everything is not what it seems

last night i dreamt about john krasinski; he had just finished marrying jenna fischer when he realized he was madly in love with me. sometimes i wish i was liz lemon and that 30 rock and the office were one show. imagine the antics that would go on between michael scott and tracey jordan? by the way, i'm only on season 3 of the office, so for me... steve carell isn't going anywhere for a while. i'd love to write for a tv show. it would be grueling and so awesome. i can handle the tough stuff.

i stayed home from school the past 2 days to recoup, i have a horrible sinus infection. today i had to walk to work to give them a doctor's note for sunday and let them know i wouldn't be in tomorrow. on the way there i listened to kesha and wondered what life would be like musically if there were no autotune. which makes me think that it's not autotune that's bad, its the overuse of it. i am really bad at detecting autotune. if i detect it, you are using too much.

i think the only time detectable autotune was ever good was right before it became this big sensation. circa 2003, liz phair * used it on her eponymous album. back then she said something like 'recording this album was great. i got to play around with my voice with these really cool voice changer thingies.' thats not EXACTLY what she said, but close enough :) and lady gaga used it in blueberry kisses. even if you aren't necessarily the biggest gaga fan, take a listen.

if you don't know who liz phair is, i'm not sure you should be here. liz phair is one of the top 10 reasons i should have been born in 1979. she is just amazing, she recorded songs that she wrote about boys and drugs on cassette tapes in her room under the moniker "girlysounds." it became a hit and spawned the album exile in guyville, in which a dead pan liz sings about... boys and drugs. but she gets it. she gets the mind of a young woman in distress. she gets the mind of american youth. she is a rock and roll goddess.

for me she is just one of the many many mannyyyyyy artists that has influenced me.

i received an amazing compliment today when i logged onto blogspot. he or she hit it right on the nail: i am not always so sure people are listening or caring. its not that i need people to praise me all the time or tell me i am wonderful. we are all wonderful. but maybe a little less quiet a little more noise. interact with me. whoever you are, anonymous, you really made my day. i wasn't feeling well, and i logged on just to see if Joanna Goddard or Samantha Shorey had posted, and there was a huge comment and i thought, "oh geez this is probably going to be a really long hateful message" because usually i do get hateful messages if i get comments at all... and it was the opposite of hateful. you said i might know you... any hints?

if anyone wants to find me whenever i've been absent from here, you can read more of my babble at http://erinnnnnnaquarius.tumblr.com/  or twitter.com/kil1thewaitress - the second L is the number 1.

love you all <3