grandmother nature

i was born blue. blue fingernails, toenails, and lips. my heart didn't work right, and i could only imagine how scared my young parents were. there had been no warning before my birth that i might come out not being so okay.

my family prayed, i imagine, and worried endlessly. my grandma especially pleaded with God. "If erin makes it through, i will leave my job [working in a cubicle] to work for the greater good." and when i was better, she made good on her promise.

my grandmother became a job coach. she makes sure that special needs people are being treated right in the work place, that they are getting fair treatment, paid right, and given jobs that they can handle. she also makes sure that they are listening to their bosses, and performing their jobs to the best of their ability. she has more paperwork than i've ever heard of in my life, and works at all times of the day. if something happens to one of the clients on her day off, she has to drop whatever she's doing to help them out.

she's been going through a lot lately, but she still does her best to make sure her clients are taken care of.
this summer, i spent weeks at a time at her house in Queens, and she really saved me. my parents divorce really swallowed my heart whole and i didn't know where to turn. but grandma was there. i had a place of refuge, somewhere to hide, to be free. somewhere to roam and to have my friends over. somewhere to learn to believe in life and love again when everything was falling apart.

i try to tell my grandmother all the time how much she means to me. i'm sitting here writing this now because she is here driving me absolutely insane and i need to remind myself of why i love her even when she's the source of my craziness.