to kindle, or not to kindle.... that is the question

first of all let me tell you that i have been very anti-e-reader. i don't believe that books are dead, and i don't want to bury mine only to hear stifled screams from the coffin. i love books, the paper, the smell, the words, the texture. the covers that look way better in person than the online images do. i will never give up books, because they represent my soul and my awakening as a child. i am a book personified. i live eat and breathe reading and writing.

and then there is this: i have many unread books in my room that i'm making my way through, and i have many beloved books i'd like to read over and over. if i wanted them on an e-reader, i'd have to buy them again. and if i don't, then i'd still be carrying books around.

there really should be a way to get books that you already own onto the e-reader without paying the price of the book. i know that an i-phone has a book scanning system used to compare pricing. if only something like that could be put into effect on an e-reader where one can scan their books that they already own onto their e-reader via that little box on the back with the upc and coding. but alas, the problem is that everyone would be scanning books that they didn't really own.

so now i am not sure. the prices are at an all time low. if i wait, will they bounce back up? or will they continue to drop, or stay the same?

i don't want an e-reader that much. it's just that 1)books are more portable on there. i can carry essentially hundreds of books and magazines, etc at a time. 2)books are cheaper in e-book form.
HOWEVER, if i have a copy of a book vs an e-reader, the e-reader is more likely to be stolen. and i'd lose a lot of money on that.

there's a lot to consider. anyone have thoughts?

no. inspiration. whatsoever.

blue and yellow purple pills

I’ve invented a pill that gives you time

To go to school and work full time

To see your friends, to read and to write

And get a full 8 hour sleep at night

I’ve invented a pill, it keeps you awake

To make it through all of the give and take

No side effects, no dizzy spells

No headaches, no going through hell

I’ve invented a pill, it’s all you’d ever need

You’ll have time to clean and dance and breed

Make some art, plant a creative seed

It really is the only thing you’d need

We’ve got so much to do

And so little time

So take this pill

And you’ll be feeling all right

don't look back in anger

" the winds of september fanned harvests of fire on the dry hills... feeding on chaparral and tract homes. the smell of the smoke always brought me back to my mother, to a rooftop under an untrustworthy moon. how beautiful she had been, how perfectly unhinged. it was my second season of fire without her. oleander time. i read that the jews celebrated their new year now, and i decided i too would calculate time from this season."

pg 167, white oleander, janet fitch.


it's late, or early depending on how you look at it. time is such a strange thing. it passes by so fast when you want it to last and when you need it to run, it slows down and takes deep breaths and long gulps of water and stretches until you can't take it anymore. time with loved ones is scarce, time at work and school and with homework is plentiful. people think its so easy to be a student who works, and that because we're young we should be able to do more. i think people who judge based on age aren't very smart at all. that's just my opinion. i've always made friends with the teachers. i've always been an old woman at heart.
this semester is going to be grueling. the commute, the teachers who think they are the only teacher who matters and so they assign enough work for 3 classes. running to work for 8 hour shifts. it will all be worth it one day when i have the paperwork that says i succeeded. it will be worth it when i have a home, a partner, a business, a life. maybe one day i can enjoy fall, my favorite season, to the fullest. i could take my daughter apple picking and we could make cider for thanksgiving. i could take my son to the woods behind our home to get firewood for the fire place. but for now, i work my ass off along with everybody else. and i learn to love it.
and i do love it. because the commute gives me time to listen to music. and some of the homework is interesting, even if it is way too much. and work gives me money to use on the off chance i have time to go out with my friends, or to save for my future [or, lets face it... to buy books at barnes and noble and nonsense shit at target]. and i get to take a yoga class the first half of the semester. what could be better than that?
i love the fall weather that's starting to creep in. i love being texted to see where on campus i am. i love iced coffee and a sweater on a chilly day, and the fall sun. i love it.

home

I had a horse

I had a horse

I had a horse

We went riding into town

We stayed on course

We stayed on course

I stayed on course

But then I went tumbling down

Down by the bay

Where the watermelons grow

Back to my home

I dare not go

We took a trip

We took a trip

We took a trip

To see the blue pear trees

Don’t know what it is

What it is

Oh what is it that makes you love me?

Down by the bay

Where the watermelons grow

Round and round I go

Where I stop nobody knows

But it won’t be home

No it can’t be home

No it won’t be home

I can’t go home

Home is a place to rest your head and eat a meal

Home is a place where love is what you’re s’posed to feel

Home is a place where you can always be yourself

Home is a place to share the wealth

Home is a place where a person’s supposed to smile

Home is a place to hunker down for a while

Home is a place for a parent and a child

A loving marriage and a temper mild

Down down down down by the bay

Where the watermelons grow long as day

Back to a home where I never laugh or play

I dare not go if you’re giving me a say

ode to sarra manning

i was fifteen when i read my first sarra manning book; it was Guitar Girl, and it was given to me by my boyfriend at the time for christmas. i kindof looked at it and thought to myself, it looks ok... we'll see. i devoured it. at this point i was very into all things british/and french [still am...] and so it was the perfect book. i still have it sitting on my shelf, but now it is joined by 2 of her others, Pretty Things and Lets Get Lost.

side note: i just found out that guitar girl came out on my birthday in 2004. kismet.

what i love about sarra is, she writes about teen angst like she lives it. she isn't condescending, she doesn't preach at all. she just tells it like it is. i've read many many books in my short life, some very memorable, some not so much. but i could tell you what every single one of her books is about out of the ones i've read so far. she uses music to guide much of her writing, even giving her books a playlist [yes many authors do this but she's one of the first authors i ever saw doing this actively and posting her playlists in the back of the books... she was doing this way before stephenie meyer popularized it.] 

i recommend sarra's books to anyone who is,was, or ever will be a teenager with a restless heart. 

read guitar girl if you like music and want to imagine what it would be like to be thrust into musical fame.

read pretty things if you are a gay boy or a straight girl or something in between and you like theatre camp.

read let's get lost if you hate your life and your parent[s] and need some new music to listen to.

and read nobody's girl if you hate mean girls, love paris, and cute american boys.

400th post

it's september, and school just started and as much as i wanted- needed- the semester to start, i feel like it crept up on me and slapped me across the face. it's still hot as hell outside and i honestly can't wait for the fall weather to sneak in and cool me down. 

the past few day's i've been running around so much between work and school that i've barely even thought about things i could write, let alone blogged/wrote in a journal/ added to my story. this is something i hope to remedy when i get a groove going.

i'm one of those people who gets excited by new clothes and pencils, new school supplies and the jitters of another school year starting. but i spent an arm and a leg on textbooks, and i haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in months. i probably won't for another few months. but that's the way of a 20 year old. always moving, always running from work to school and out with friends, and in my case home to watch my brothers and help out the family even when i don't really feel like it. 

there's a lot of homework coming up.

and concerts.

and taking notes.

2 years ago this day i was feeling the sensation that something just wasn't right.

today i know that i can make it all right.