we gotta let the love back in again

writer's block is just another way of god telling me to slow down and shut up. i think. but how can i slow down when everything is tumbling down in a tangle and most of it, i cant even discuss? so i cant get it out, and its just... swirling around in a winding path between my tummy and my head. and it hurts, and i have crazy baby butterflies flying around, and sharks and guppies in my belly and a fly in my head that just keeps on buzzing. i feel lost. i feel... gone. i feel like i'm falling. i feel like there's nothing i can do. its tumultuous. sometimes there is nothing to rely on. sometimes my feelings get the best of me. sometimes my body and my mind are in two completely different universes. i try to do the right thing, i do. but there is this push and pull- what is right for me may not be right for my parents or those i care about. and sometimes i lose sight of all that i can be.