idk.

its not my fault

if i'm sick

i cant help it

that you don't understand

what it's like

to be in this moment

the same way that i do

and

i can't for the life of me

see what is so appealing

about being you

yet i want to be you so bad.

i want to be careless

and bitchy

and happy and i want to

laugh at my friends

when they fall down drunk

i want to be drunk

and happy about it

not sober and

solemn.

i missed out

i know that

on a new experience

and don't think

i don't wake up

crying

in a cold sweat

from the nightmares

and the dreams

that i was given

a second chance

one more moment

to shine and

i grasp it

like a star

or a phallic symbol

hoping it will

make it all worth it