the following week is going to be crazy..

tonight: birthday dinner with the family

monday: class, Fil's driving me home (thank you fil :) ) and then i'm going to get my glasses and spend time with thomas after his surgery (he'll be okay... he's having his adenoids removed, and sinus surgery). then, present time.

tuesday: psych class, going with natalie <3 to see Jeanne<3
              movies with Mike to see  "Youth in Revolt" and then out for some cawfee

wednesday: class all day then outoutout!

thursday: probably going to relax unless i get called to babysit. gotta make that $$!!

friday: lunch with andrea <3 then ???

art of the day :p

yes yes i am the next big thing.
andy who?

in order:

1- untitled

2- january murder

3-chaos of a beautiful mind

4-plumage

5-blood orange

6-creativity in captivity

7-queen of hearts

reflection

it's crazy how a year can make such a difference. a year ago this time i was miserable. i had just gotten home from the worst experience of my life thus far [what i went through at cortland trumps my parents divorce, my almost dying at birth and every other bad thing that has happened to me. yes, it was that bad], and i didn't know what to do. i didn't want to be here, or anywhere. i didn't want to go to school, i fought a lot with my parents, i just had no idea where to turn. i turned 19 a year from this coming monday. on the day i picked to celebrate my birthday, my great aunt died. for my birthday, i had a funeral to attend.

but this year is already so much better. i'm happier, i found art in a big way {i had always known art was a passion but i have really come into my own artistically}, for the first time, i actually intend to follow through completely on my list of 100 goals. to be honest, i always INTENDED on following through, but i never had the motivation. but now i've found the motivation deep in my soul. i realized that although i can't help that i'm depressed by nature, i can do everything within my own power to be happy. i've been doing great in school, making new friends, catching up with old ones, making dates and plans and seeing where the road takes me.

all i need is a job and i am set to go on this roadtrip called life.

so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. well what's so amazing about really deep thoughts?

"what is it about fire that is so lovely?... it's perpetual motion; the thing man wanted to invent but never did. or almost perpetual motion. if you let it go on, it'd burn our lifetimes out. what is fire? it's a mystery. scientists give us gobbledegook about friction and molecules. but they don't really know. it's real beauty is that it destroys responsibility and consequences. a problem gets to burdensome, then into the furnace with it."

page 151, fahrenheit 451, ray bradbury.

something to bore you to death

i stole some of these goals, and i modified others. but most are my own goals and i plan on accomplishing them all. i'm going to compile a huge list of goals, and them make huge posters so i am reminded of them every day.

then, i'm going to cross them out one by one as they are accomplished, and i'm going to 

smile.

i plan on making 100+ goals and accomplishing at least 85.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

-anais nin, french author and diarist. 

1. finish my masters in creative writing& publishing.

2. send five anonymous just because cards.

3. get a butterfly tattoo

4. dye a streak of my hair a crazy color like pink or purple

5. own a baby grand piano.

6. write a novel or compile a volume of poetry. get published in the "real world."

7. start a once-a-month book club.

8. save $30,000

9. learn to play my favorite songs on the guitar/piano

10. get a job at a record company and write songs for other artists

11. roadtrip to LA.

12. visit paris. stay a while.

13. adopt a kitten or puppy and give it the best home it can have

14. go to the andy warhol museum.

15. complete 10 paintings to be proud of

16. take a photo every day for a year

17. host a themed dinner party.

18. become fluent in french

19. make 10 new friends

20. but stay close with family and old friends

21. forgive past grudges and ask for forgiveness

22. write one thing i learned that day daily for a year.

23. plant my own garden.

24. purchase a vintage typewriter.

25. go skydiving

26. create a signature recipe

27. try a new food and decide i like it.

28. learn how to knit or sew.

29. inspire someone in a big way.

30. create a collage journal.

31. stick to a healthy diet

32. complete 4 short stories 

33. have a child

34. be a great mother

35. read over 600 books

36. see tim burton's exhibit at the MOMA

37. visit 3 other "important" museums

38. write for thef-bomb.org

39. spend a night on the beach

40. do more yoga and make the changes i need to feel good about my body

41. create something weekly. something to be proud of, or giggle at.

42. do one GREAT deed a month and many good deeds weekly

43. love with all my heart

44. make 3+ chapbooks and give them out to strangers

45. participate in a watermelon eating contest

46. make a bet

47. buy more recycled items and live a more earth friendly lifestyle

48. have a room in my house/apartment that functions as a studio for my art and writing

49. draw something i am proud of

50. review a book for the newspaper
51. see 5 more influential artists/groups in concert [3 down, tegan&sara/paramore don't count because i'm seeing them for the second time]
51. take a writing workshop with francesca lia block
52. complete one of keri smith's books or 50 things project
53. meet sarah morrison
54. meet lady gaga
55. finish butterfly project


3 goals completed as of 6/23 :)

TO BE CONTINUED...

dear tuesdays and thursdays, you suck. love, me.

every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.
every friday i will write for one hour.

but today is tuesday, and i'm going to
(1) finish CRANK
(2) watch an episode of 30 rock

"hey, jenna, i found your lipstick."

"no, this isnt mine. this is 'sunset blush.' i wear 'tiger orgasm.'

first day of school was pretty awesome, i won't lie.


i also wish i was asian so i could do my nails with more skill than a 4 year old.

lastly, i'm tired of being lectured about not driving. so, everyone who says anything about it is going to get "the hand."