thattttts me...

Today is the first day of the rest of your life... who said that, anyway? Today is just another day, struggling to go on.

anyway i decided to say a few things about myself, sort of an introduction. i am currently a college freshman attending cortland university, trying my best to find another school. i love to write, and sing; i have been published a few times, and my dream is to write songs for other artists, as well as record a cd or two of my own. i'd love to write young adult novels and publish the volumes of poetry hiding under my bed.

i live an externally boring life, but my thoughts can be quite mesmerizing like an escape to a chaotic world. i dont often drink and i definately dont smoke, and i dont do drugs. i've tried all three, i'm not naive, just uninterested. i've been with the same boy for three years, and i plan to marry him and drag him off to NYC or france where we can live in a cluttered apartment decorated in urban outfitters. we will have babies and parties and i will write whenever i can.

besides writing everything from free verse to novels to memoirs: i love to read, listen to music, go to the mall, and hang out with other strange people who like the same things i like.

now to get to the actual point of this post:

have you ever felt you were different on the inside and out?

like, on the outside, i'm an 18 year old college student who has no clue about the world, no money, and no means to explore and travel the way she wants to.

on the inside, i am a thirty year old mommy with a sleeve of tats and black skinny jeans. in my head, i have lived in the hostels of europe, and swam in warmer waters. i have toured castles in ireland and gotten married at the beach. in my head, i have lived the life i would love, and i have loved the life i live. 

so.. have you ever felt similarly?