teenage dream

i used to dream about peter pan. that i was wendy. that he'd come to my window. and that i'd get to fly away. i had so many dreams about flying. i can close my eyes right now and imagine what it's like to fly. i really do believe that dreams can be more real than we think. i always used to say, "what if right now, what we consider to be the 'real world' isn't real at all, and our dreams, what we think are just ideas and thoughts swirling around in our heads at night, are real life? what if i'm dreaming this math test, and tonight i actually am going to fly?..." i know it sounds crazy, i know it sounds like i'm out of my mind but i still want to believe this. i want to believe that i really do know how it feels to fly. i get that swoopy feeling under my heart beneath my breast. i feel lifted not only in body but in spirit. i think heaven, for me, will be an eternal sleep where i can fly all the time.

i have a murder mystery recurring dream. i go to my great grandmother's apartment building, i'm there for a summer visit. on each floor, the doors are painted different colors. the first floor= green, the second= blue, the third, red... etc. i meet this boy, and as we get to talking i notice a flyer out of the corner of my eye, announcing that a murderer is loose and must be captured. the dream always ends differently,but i always get to solve the murder. and i do so by flying. i can be fast and i can peek into windows and peep holes.  flying enables me to save lives and to save myself from a boring night of slumber.

i've always appreciated my dreams. i've spent time as a lion tamer, i've gotten down and dirty with leonardo dicaprio [late 90's leo], i've hung out with the cast of arrested development and liz lemon. i've went to concerts, i've visited my friends. i could go on forever. my nightmares are far more interesting, and i can't even remember half of the dreams i'd share here. 

something else i've always wondered is....

we all have dreams every night. we have multiple dreams, and they last only a few seconds but we feel as if they last for longer. and usually what seems like a long dream is a bunch of mini dreams put together. but since we all have them, and hardly remember one if any [ i pity those who remember none of their wonderful dreams ], i wonder if, when i dream about you, are you dreaming about me too? and maybe in the morning you either don't remember or don't think about it. but if i see you in my dream, maybe you saw me in yours. maybe we kissed in both of our dreams and only i remembered. maybe another morning only you remember. it's a strange concept but i think maybe it happens, at least sometimes. so tonight, when i dream of you for the 4th time in recent nights, give me a message: let me know that you are in your bed dreaming the same thing i am. 

and if you see peter, say hello. i miss him.