tonight i watched Intervention on a&e. and i got so angry.
NOT at the person who was being intervened like i usually do,
but at their family. this woman was really and truly hurting, and reacting
to the things that had happened to her that her family had ignored.
she wasn't being interventioned because she did drugs,
it wasn't really about drinking either. she was a self mutilator and
an anorexic. she had no one to turn to. her sisters had abandoned her,
her mother was oblivious, and her father felt that every single thing she did
was a call for attention. and, she admitted, a lot of it was. but not all of it.
people who have these problems have real pain. having been a victim
of self mutilation, and a slight eating disorder [i do not claim to have ever had anorexia, bulimia, etc... just some very very poor body image that got out of hand], i know that this woman
really did do these things for more than attention. to someone who cuts and self mutilates,
it does make you think you feel better. all of the hurt and anger is pent up, you cut, and you feel a releasing, calming sensation. but obviously, this is not normal. it's a huge problem that is rooted partly in the need for attention, and partly in the need for that feeling of release. i can become an addiction, i would know. instead of dismissing her, her family should have been there for her when this all started.
her father had refused to get her help when she started eating less and less at 13. same for her cutting. at the time of the show taping, she was 25. 12 years had lapsed where her family could have helped her. and she may have never have gotten to this point.

much of this stemmed from when she was 8, and was molested. she never felt comfortable enough to tell her family. if they had gotten her help for her problems, they may have realized that this was the root through therapy etc.

when someone is cutting themselves, or burning themselves, or restricting their food in an abnormal manner, there is something wrong. yes, it is a cry for help. yes they need you. as someone who has been through a lot of situations in her life, i know that we all need to stick together and help each other. don't dismiss, listen. it's the least you could do. and encourage them to get professional help.

oh, sookie.

yes, i got sucked in, and here i am on episode 6 of season one of trueblood, already requested season 2 from the library. many of the things i like, i like them not because of the vampires, but because they are shows/books/movies with great STORIES. to be honest, i wasn't too into the craze until recently. i have always looooved vampires, ever since i was a little girl. and that's exactly why i didn't want them in my face 24/7. its like candy- i love it, but if i ate it every day, my teeth would rot and it would hurt to smile, and i will start to be gross. so i wish the vampire craze would subside a little. but, if you vamp beat em, join em!

;)

to be honest, instead of lusting over the vampires [and vampires are an extremely sexual group of creatures!], i'm in love with sookie... and all of her gorgeous dresses [and that BEAUTIFUL blonde hair. mine is a few shades darker and i wish it was like hers!]

miscellaneous ramblings

happy friday! it's my day off from work [as was yesterday], and i am oh so very happy. [don't hate me, pretty soon i will be watching my 8&9 year old brothers, and 14 year old sister 3+ days a week. and working still.] but anywho...

yesterday i finished the last PRETTY LITTLE LIARS novel by sara shepard. i was tres disappointed. it's not that it wasn't good... it was. it's just that she used a technique that i find to be a cop out in writing. it was comparable to if JK Rowling ended Harry Potter with "and then he woke up. it was all a dream."

but i started I Was Told There'd be Cake by Sloane Crosley. I need to go back to the library and grab Water for Elephants. i keep forgetting! and i still didn't start The Glass Castle. apparently, HBO is making Cake into a tv show?! so i'm glad i'm reading it now, and i'll have to check out the show when it's on dvd.
speaking of HBO dvd's, i am now on the fourth episode of season one of TrueBlood. i like it, but the main reason i'm pushing forward with it is because it seems like the second season was really good and i can't watch that without the first.

however i might skip to the office's second season. i tried watching the first, and hated it. but then i was watching it on tv [idk what season] and laughing my ass off. so even though i hate skipping and starting in the middle of things, i'd rather skip the non funny parts.

i had a really thoughtful post i wanted to share, and it flew out the window. the same window where dreams go- you know when you wake up sometimes and you KNOW you had a crazy dream and all you see is a flicker of a random object or event and can't put the whole dream together? it went out THAT window.

i think i want to have a contest/give away soon. i just don't know what the prize shall be. but i'll figure it out.

ALSO thank you to chelsea at TRIUMPHS AND BLUNDERS OF A KOOKY GAL and chantalle at CHAI, CINNAMON, AND COUTURE for their lovely comments and reading my musings. their blogs are so wonderful, so go check them out!! i love them just as much as i love the other blogs i've mentioned in the past. at chelsea's blog, you can read about all the lovely things she bakes and cooks, and your mouth will water. i want to make it all! and at chantalle's, you will see beautiful pictures and gorgeous fashion. i love all of her posts!

ten things i hate about you

no one i know wanted to watch ABC family's tv show version of Ten Things I Hate About You. every single person said, "it can't compare to the movie." and you know what? i love Julia Stiles (where the hell did she go?), and Heath Ledger did a great job (which is a lot coming from me, i was never a superfan, even though i think he was a superb actor). but as much as we all love mid nineties dramedies, it is possible to take them and spin them into something new without ruining the essence of what it once was.

TTIHAY the series was smart, sexy, and outspoken. Lindsey Shaw as Kat was a great casting role. she has really grown since Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. as a character, Kat is an environmentalist, and a very active student and citizen. she will not stand for injustice whether at school, or at home. she sticks to her guns and her beliefs, even when others try to put her down. most of all, Kat knows herself and her body. she believes in the power of being a woman. as her younger sister vies to be popular and pretty, and the best at cheerleading, Kat just wants to be the best person she can be, and she wants to help others. she can come off as brash, and a bit rude, but to be honest, if i knew her in real life, she'd be my best friend. Lindsey Shaw is extremely believable. 

The series itself straddled an appropriate line between sexuality and virginity. i was pleasantly surprised at ABC Family for the healthy, refreshing way in which they depicted sex, sexuality/homosexuality, interracial relationships, single father/two daughters, etc. they did not shy away from any topic, great or small. and for this, i believe it would have made a great conversation started at the dinner table between young adults and their parents/guardians. 

unfortunately, ABC Family has chosen to cancel this show when it was just getting started. television is made up of such junk. it is so rare that a gem like TTIHAY comes along, and even rarer that it lasts. it, and its lovable characters, especially Kat, will live on in my heart. a great feminist and humanitarian rolemodel has been lost.

in the future, i wish great success to the actors and people involved in the process of bringing TTIHAY to life on television.

GOSSIP GIRL MONDAY NOV 16

oh. my. fucking. god.

i know no one reads this damn thing, and those who do don;t watch GG but, for the sake of saying it, SPOILER ALERT lol

ok, so last week, there was that 3some between dan, vanessa, and olivia (hilary duff who has grown into an extremely sexy young woman haha). the reason for said 3some is: olivia is an actress and her parents and agent are making her leave NYU to act in a film. dan and vanessa, her boyfriend and roommate respectively (they have also been best friends since they were very little) decide that oliva cannot leave without experiencing certain rites of passage that kids go through at college, like playing beer pong. they make a list, and on the list is also "threesome." ignoring the warnings that the 3rd person at a 3some is ALWAYS supposed to be a stranger, dan and olivia have their 3some with vanessa. a really cool version of "whatever you like" by TI plays in the backround. it's a cover by some girl.

now... this is this week:

things unravel. quickly. dan remembers the 3some as this amazing time when two girls made out in front of him and he got to have sex with two gorgeous chicks at the same time. but olivia and vanessa? they remember things a little differently. apparently when olivia "got up to take [her] shirt off," dan looked and and kissed vanessa as "he had never kissed/looked at [olivia]". this revelation comes after olivia abandons dan, vanessa, and blair on stage during a cabaret musical starring olivia as snow white and lady gaga's music as the songs. vanessa must now take over the role of snow and dan has to kiss her. olivia does this to prove that he really does love vanessa.

dan kisses vanessa and he remembers kissing her the other night and realizes he loves her. well guess what? vanessa doesnt feel the same, and olivia leaves to star in her next movie. she says she'll be back in the fall. will hilary duff return? i fucking hope so. she is getting to be a great actress, i think she's cute, and she made a great addition to the cast.

serena also has a little drama of her own. she ends up hooking up with a married senator, nate's cousin. the senator is only 28, but he's MARRIED and she works for him. nate is about to confess that he still loves serena and she runs off with tripp, the senator. bad girl, serena.

jenny humphrey befriends a drug dealer. why am i not surprised?

but the BEST FUCKING PART OF ALL is when LADY GAGA PERFORMS "BAD ROMANCE" AT THE CABARET SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE GAGA. WE ALL KNOW THIS. IM GOING TO KEEP WRITING IN CAPS TO SHOW HOW MUCH I FUCKING AM GAGA FOR GAGA

the end :)

xoxo

My So-Called Life

My

SO-CALLED

Life

really speaks to me...

When Angela says

she really wants to just

kill her mother

I know where she is coming from.

degrassi goes hollywood!!

i'm pretty excited for tonight, not gonna lie. Degrassi Goes Hollywood premiers! i LOVE jay and silent bob! and i loved when they last came to degrassi and filmed a "movie". this time, the degrassi kids go to them..

seriously, watch it so i have people to talk about it with. channel 124 (or whatever "the-n" is at your cable company) tonight at 8, encore at 10.

that 70s show

when this show first came out, i think i was too young to appreciate it. i didnt like it, i didnt watch it, i basically didnt pay attention to it. but now i am addicted and its always on my fucking favorite channel, "the-N". i love the-n for these reasons:

1-^^

2-degrassi

3-south of nowhere

4-instant star

5-what i like about you

6-daria

theres probably more. i'm too tired to think.

pop culture dose of the week.

so, this past sunday, america watched as daisy delahoya made one of the dumbest decisions on "reality" t.v. and picked london over flex.

reasons why london did not deserve to win:

- he left randomly for a while and broke daisy's heart

-he got a new girlfriend during his absence

-he can't even read. when 12 pack, i mean 'dave', is able to read wayyy better than you, you have a problem.

- he is a 30 year old without a steady job

-THE WHOLE REASON DAISY HAD THE SHOW WAS TO FIND SOMEONE DIFFERENT THAN ALL THE OTHER MEN SHE HAS DATED. she said herself that london was exactly like the rest.

reasons why flex did deserve to win:

-he is protective

-he is smokin'

-he was there for daisy, not for publicity

-he proved to her again and again that he would be there for her and do whatever it takes to be her man, while london copped out.

thankfully, i hear rumors that although she picked london in the finale, daisy and flex were together in the end and will be at the reunion show together as a couple. we shall see!

now, for movies.

orphan was a crazy mother fuckin movie that spooked the shit out of me. i wont give away details, but anyone who wants to adopt, dont go see this lol. also, be wary of children who seem like 'old souls'. this movie does a good job of scaring even people who "never get scared". if you wanna see it, i'll go with you!

random musings:

1. i'm not a ten things i hate about you virgin anymore. it was a great movie. it made me remember why i loved julia stiles, it made me fall in love with heath ledger, and it proved once more how adaptable shakespeare's plays are.

2. i love canada. why? degrassi. alanis morissette. alexz johnson.

3. went to borders yesterday and was able to buy just one book. i was so surprised at myself. "Pretty Little Liars" by Sara Shepard. its so good so far.

4. i just found out that in 06 they made this awesome movie out of a book i read about a year ago. its called "Candy" and its about heroin addiction. it stars... heath ledger.

whats on your mind?