on individuality.

i used to be weird. no, like really weird. like as weird as lady gaga on her weirdest day. when i was in my first school, a catholic school from kindergarten-mid third grade, i used to tell people i was a witch. i think in my own mind, i believed it. just a little.

and then when i went to my second school, mid third grade-fifth, i still was weird. i always made goofy faces, goofy sounds. and apparently i "tried to walk sexy." i really felt different from my peers. i really felt alone, but at the same time, i felt enlightened.

and then i went to the next school district. 6th-12th grades. and somewhere in there, i lost myself. my true self. i never "sold out," per se. but i definitely toned down my differences, and it's because of that that i believe my depression truly manifested itself. i do believe it's in my blood, but i think thats what brought it out- the suppression of me. my me-ness.

cortland- there was the chance to bring back my me-ness. but instead of choosing to be a luna lovegood, or choosing to let my inner lioness show, i chose to be a first year neville, a mouse.

and then i came home. and here i am about to embark on my third year of college. and i've been thinking lately, here i am. finally coming out. as me. and i don't care if people think i'm weird, or if my faces are too silly, or if you don't like my outfit. go ahead and whisper about me in the halls. i'm not doing YOU, i'm doing ME. and you should be yourself. because it is so painful to hide who you are. anais nin said it best:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tightly in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

do you. wear you. write you. read you. BE you.