i dreamed a dream in days gone by

last night i had a dream that i lived in a huge house with many different people i know. dan, jen, this guy tom, and then a few people i know in real life but not very well. dreams have a way of turning fuzzy when you start to wake up. i wish they were all always sharp and clear. if i could only be so lucky...

but i lived with these people, and two of the girls there were very pretty and smart and i looked up to them, we all got dressed up intending to go out to dinner. but then things didn't feel right. my old R.A. from cortland (who was one of the only people i trusted up there) became the house mother and there was just a sinister feeling after that. i started telling people there was going to be a murder and i bet i knew just who would commit it. then, the power went out.

this is just a very short, vague synopsis of the dream. i wish i could get into more detail but the details are rolling and tumbling over each other, and i'm not sure which way is up. but every night lately i have at least one dream where something evil is lurking. the past few days though, i've sensed this evil and been able to leave the dream before it takes form. usually, i am left flailing and crying in the night, freaking out over the monster or demon i'm dreaming about.

i think it's odd to give the name "dream" to 1)things you think up in your sleep/ the manifestations of your real feelings and desires/fears in a movie-type presentation and 2)the things you'd like to do with your waking life. because these two things are not always one and the same. i do, however, believe that my dreams (the first definition) are trustworthy, and really do seek to tell me something about myself and my past/present/future life. i dream up things and the next day they happen. even the strangest parts.

well, i really need to get up and do some things, then i'm going to get into a scorching bath because i have the house to myself and i need it.